31 December

It was the 31st of December 2016. I had been looking forward to this day since September with much hope and expectation. I had a few down moments in 2016, but the mere thought of the 31st of December kept me going. Let me explain.

I had prayed about a certain issue for months and months but seemingly to no avail. In fact, there were times I would pause during prayer and ask myself if I was praying right. My prayers seemed to bounce off the ceiling. I was desperate for a solution or at least some reassurance from God that He was listening.

One day, kneeling by my bedside after having struggled through yet another session I wondered if anyone else was struggling with unanswered prayer so I did what some people these days do; I went on the internet.

I must have typed in, “dealing with unanswered prayer” or something like that when I stumbled into an article. The writer spoke of how he had offered with faith a specific petition to God and had believed that He would answer within two weeks and God answered within just one! This story reminded me of a dear friend of mine who had prayed to God for someone to buy their house by a specific date and for a specific price and God came through on the right date and it sold for just the price they were looking for!

As I was soaking in all these ideas I couldn’t help but think that perhaps it was by divine providence that I had come across this article and that maybe I needed to pray specifically, with timelines and all. I had tried everything but this and surely if God could come through for those people, He would come through for me too.

So for the next 21 days, I fasted. I prayed that God would grant me my request. I was specific and petitioned God to grant me my heart’s desire by the 31st of December according to His will. I believed that since the 31st was three months away, this was way too much time since God would answer within minutes if He saw fit.

Fast forward to the 31st of December, I realised as I woke up that morning that my prayer had not been answered – well at least to me there was no evidence. All day I contended with the question, “Will I continue to trust and believe in God even in times where it feels He is not answering my heart’s desires, like today?” I asked myself what my prayers would look like going into 2017. Would I just give up or would I keep holding on? For how long?

Since then I’ve continued to ask questions which I must confess have given me a little ray of hope.  Questions like, “Can God be trusted?” “Does God love me?” and “Does He see the end from the beginning?” Yes, my faith has been challenged but I continue to learn a lot from this experience and each time I’m reminded that yes God loves me and yes He can be trusted.

Do you also face a similar situation and have prayed for months or even years for something? Is it for a job perhaps, or is it for healing or a broken relationship and for some reason God appears silent?

I’m making up my mind that even though I do not understand His plan or know the way from here I will trust Him. I hope you decide to join me on this journey of trust and the coolest fact is that we get to embark on this journey with God. The bible does say, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.”

4 thoughts on “31 December

  1. Thank you so much for the encouragement I am in the same dilemma, but have also learnt to trust in the Lord. He is my maker where else can I go.
    Isaiah 45 vs 22
    Does Jesus care? oh yes he does!

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  2. After having gone through life’s rough challenges, series of prayers and endless fastings with seemingly no results I started feeling like just saying Thanksgiving prayers. I am convinced God is listening and will answer at the appropriate time. I now consider thanking Him coz I have faith. Whatever I ask for will be granted

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  3. Chiedza… i will take you back to 2008 when i had written a qualifying exam twice… and twice had i failed it. I remember how told me about Jeremiah 29 v 11. You taught me about faith as it is written in Hebrews 11. I remember doing my own reading on the Book of Job. My point is you were very inspirational to me at that point. One night i prayed and asked God if this profession was for me or not. I never got an answer or clue until one night i had dream. In the dream someone was handing me a my results with a smile and said to me Congratulations BT. To this very day i still feel i owe part of my success to you for telling me that i should trust in the Lord. Thank you… and as your name says please continue to be that beacon that shines to the world.

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